The Entertainer

Since I was in high school I have dreamt about having a house full of friends having a good time and eating good food.  Of course this house is mine and the food was prepared by me, from the cute appetizers to sweet treats and they are all beautifully arranged on my fun serving wear!  Now added to that dream, is feeding people vegan food, and having them love it while they oooh and ahhh over how good it tastes!  Though this dream will eventually become a reality, I have had a few glimpses this month as I have taken on the roll of hostess!  My sister is getting married in October, and as her matron of honor (I know, sounds so old, but I guess it is better than being a maid, and at least it's in honor right!?) I threw her a bridal shower.  I came up with the food, decorations and games all by myself *pull up 'big girl' panties and cross arms* Okay, I had some help setting up from my mom and some family, but pretty much I tackled it all.  At first I was excited as my dream of hosting danced in my head.  A small get together with some food and games, no big deal.  I was excited as I wrote down all the fun and colorful food I was going to make.  Then after talking with my mom, I realized that the list of food would feed probably 50 plus people and take two days to prepare, oh and didn't really include foods that my some-what-picky sister would eat.  So we reworked the menu to be less time intensive and cater to the Bride-to-Be's pallet.  Nonetheless, as the day approached, I was getting more and more stressed.  I was beginning to wonder if I could pull this all off.  I felt like I was drowning in details even though it was really just a small get together!  How could I go through planning my wedding with out getting so stressed out, and here I was planning a bridal shower for 15 people at a park with mid-afternoon snacks, and I was about ready to pull my hair out!  I was beginning to wonder why I thought this whole party throwing was dreamy and fun.  I was beginning to think that I never wanted to throw a party again!  But, as usual the whole thing turned out perfect (except for the wind that kept blowing the table clothes off the tables).  Tough the menu was not entirely vegan, it was vegetarian.  However, the star of the table were my vegan cupcakes!  My sister asked where I bought them, and everyone raved about how great they tasted.  My uncle even wanted the recipe as he downed two in a row!  Though it was stressful, the end result was worth it as my sister and everyone had a really great time.  I realized that I was just new to the experience and was ready to tackle the next one with my new found "party-throwing" skills!

Food spread, yum!

The pretty pink cupcakes

Though not in quite the same magnitude, last weekend we had some friends over for breakfast, and later that night I had a friend over for dinner.  Now for most people, this may be normal.  But in our small apartment it doesn't happen very often and it kind of a big deal! (We have to re-arrange our 'piles' of 'stuff' so that we can have room to actually sit at our table.)  For breakfast we had lots of delicious fresh fruit and my becoming-famous vegan aebleskivers (Danish pancake balls).  My great-grandparents were from Denmark, so it is a traditional treat we make in our family and fun to show off to others :~)  My blueberry filled aelbskivers were a hit and the berries we had with them were delicious as well!

Finished aebleskivers in the aebleskiver pan

For dinner that night, I was excited to try a recipe I found in a store in Portland called Penzeys Spices for grilled protabella mushrooms with chipotle mayonnaise.  The recipe is inspired by the chipotle powder that I bought in the store that has a wonderful spicy-smokey smell.  I made some modifications to the recipe to make it vegan (mainly changing the mayonnaise to nayonaise), but the results were delicious!  I usually grill my mushroom whole with an Italian dressing marinade, but this recipe used a different marinade and called for protabella slices.  Add the chipotle nayonaise a few avocado slices, a tomato slab and some lettuce, and you have the best burger I have ever tasted!  My friend agreed that they chipotle nayonaise was delicious.  Just enough kick with a little smokey aftertaste!  (If you love to cook and have never been in a Penzeys Spices store, then you are missing out!  A whole store for just spices, who knew!  I was in love at first sight.  They even have a cook book!)

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The difference between knowing, and really *knowing* and My Garden!

(In continuation from last post...)  I did get up that morning at 7, but I was so tired and just wanted to take a nap on my yoga mat.  I pushed through, but didn't get much out of it.  Needless to say, I didn't get up at 7 the next day.  I learned that forcing myself to do it because "I know it's good for me" doesn't really work.  Sure there will be days I don't want to work out or eat a salad or do yoga, but it usually just because I am feeling lazy.  There is a difference between "knowing it is good for me" and really actually knowing it is good for me.  There are plenty of tips, tricks and claims out there about feeling great and being happy.  Do all of them work?  Well, I haven't tried them all so I'm not sure.  But have all of them worked for someone, probably.  The trick is finding the right reasons to make changes, and making changes for the right reason.  On days when I don't feel like working out or eating right, I can remember times when I felt good when I did and felt bad when I didn't.  That is usually enough to get my lazy behind in gear.  "I know it is good for me" because science and research tells me, but I also know because I have experienced it.  When it comes to yoga and meditation, the science and research is there.  There have been numerous studies that have shown the positive effects of yoga and mediation on stress and life happiness and I have come across them many times.  Every time I do, I think "I want to have that feeling, I will someday."  When I force myself to the mat because "I know it is good for me" the session turns out as a waste of time because my mind is elsewhere, counting down the minutes until I can sit back down and take a nap.  Instead of feeling refreshed afterward, I feel as though I could have better used my time.  This feeling then gets added to the list of reasons why I don't want to get up early to spend time on my mat.  Have I felt the positive effects of yoga yet?  To some degree I have.  I have felt the connection to breath and movement that calms my breath and mind....usually only for a few seconds at a time though.  I know that it helps calm me down in the morning when I wake up with the anxious feeling in the pit of my stomach.  I also know that it has helped my flexibility and helps to reduce tension in my back.  Though these are all positive attributes, and enough to keep me coming back again and again, I haven't had that epiphany that has led me to my calm, quite and confident self.  I know that practice make better, and I will keep practicing.  I just want to make sure that when I practice, I am in the right mind set.  I don't want my yoga practice to be an item to check off my "To-Do" list for the day.  I want it to be my retreat, my sanctuary my calm in times of stress and anxiety.  I want to really feel the benefits of yoga so that when the times come that I don't want to practice, I can look back and really know that taking some time for myself on the mat will be a good thing :)

(I did get up this morning to do yoga after a relaxing weekend, and I felt good.  I am doing better about focusing my mind on my breathing and movements while I practice rather than coming up with my plan for the day.  Meditation on the other hand is a different story....I'm still working on that one.)

Now on to my garden!  It has been about two months now since my mom and I planted my wonderful produce plot, and it is looking fabulous!  Many people walking by or working in the garden have told me how great it looks!  Not that I am keeping count, but mine looks the best by far!  I also know that the reason it looks so good is because I make sure to get out at lest twice a week to water, and every couple weeks to weed.

This last week I got my first real harvest and made some yummy meals with my produce :)  This week I know that I will have more to harvest and I am excited to try out new recipes with my very own fresh, organic produce!

This was my real "first harvest", but this was all I picked. Ground Cherries!

Harvest one: rainbow chard, basil, ground cherries, and marigolds

My Garden, two months from original planting

Almost ready to pick!  I love broccoli!

My pumpkin is trying to take over my garden!  And starting to put out little pumpkins :)

Amish Gold, I ate this one straight off the plant on Friday and it was tasty!

Pretty purple bean flowers.  A humming bird visited these while I was working!

Beautiful yellow pumpkin flower.

What I made with my rainbow chard: greens and beans

Pesto with the basil

and a fresh tomato and basil pasta salad!

Have a wonderful summer day in the sunshine and enjoy all the fresh produce!

What I've Learned (from the CSD)......finally!

Alright, so like I said, I'm not quite very good at this whole blogging thing yet.  I could come up with lots of excuses: busy, ran out of time, tired, will take to long, not in the mood, etc....but really what it comes down to is life just going on.  There are always things to do, I just have to decide if this is one of them.  I know I want it to be, but I also have all these other things that I want to do as well!

Three weeks of eating lots of veggies, taking time to meditate and do yoga daily, taking care of my body and thinking positive.  What all came out of it?  Well, I felt really good. Even though I was getting up earlier than I wanted, I wasn't exhausted by the end of the day, in fact I wasn't even that tired by the time bed time came around.  But once it was time to sleep, I was out like a light! Overall, my mood and outlook on life improved.  I didn't feel as stressed or anxious about my day or life.  I was enjoying each day and appreciating the little things.  I didn't really have a desire for material things or as many of my comfort foods.  In general, I was starting to feel comfortable in my body and in my life. 

I also noticed that my creative brain really started to become active again.  I used to love to do arts and crafts, even if I wasn't the best at them.  I used to come up with sewing projects, baking and cooking ideas, and just general ideas!  I felt that come back.  I wanted to get out my sewing machine. bake cupcakes and decorate them, play the guitar, scrapbook, you name it crafty-creative type thing sounded fun.  They no longer were things that I enjoyed-doing-once-don't-have-time-for-them, maybe-some-other-time-in-my-life ideas and thoughts.  They were, why don't I work on it now because I do have the time and they make me happy!  I even acted on these thoughts!  I went over to my Mom's house to work on a quilt that my grandma was supposed to make for me for graduation from high school (five years ago).  She has since passed away.  All the fabric is cut out, it is just a matter of laying the pattern out and sewing it together.  Easy enough, but I just never had the time to do it.  I also had the desire to start blogging about and posting more food related topics, like what I made for dinner!  I love making food and making food look good!  And I would love to share it with everyone!  (Not that anyone reads my blog yet, but that shall change in the future, if I keep it up and running that is (: )

My view on time also changed.  I have always been one to wear a watch or know what time it is.  I look at the clock constantly and am very aware of how long it takes me to do things.  I often have a schedule in my head of things that need to get done, be it today, tomorrow, or the rest of my life (yes I know, who knows the schedule for their whole life!?)  with accompanying time allotments.  If the scheduled task doesn't get done in that amount of time, it equals stress and anxiety.  I always felt like I was rushing from one thing to the next.  Always looking for the fastest and quickest way to do things, and often getting frustrated with anyone who was taking longer than I wanted them to.  (Never to their face, but in my head, which just made me even more anxious and stressed!).  Taking the time to slow down and really trying to appreciate the here and now helped me to calm down and do less mind-scheduling.  I looked at the clock less, didn't feel as anxious, didn't get frustrated with people and had more a laid-back, it-will-get-done attitude.  As a result, I felt like I had more time and got more things done!  What a crazy revelation!  Here I was this whole time try to schedule everything out to the minute to try and maximize time to get as much done, and then always ending up disappointed, when all I had to do was NOT schedule.  What I realized was: there will always be things that need to get done.  Once you finish something, there will always be something more.  You can always come up with things that suck away your time or things that didn't' get accomplished, but that just leaves you with an empty feeling of dissapointment.  Rather, shift your thoughts to all the things you get to do today, with no pressure as to when they need to be done (unless they have some outside influencing time-line).  Don't make due dates and deadlines for everything in your life!  The groceries do not need to be gotten and put away in 30 minutes and be done by 4:15!  That is just your over-scheduling-crazy-perfectionist-brain telling you that.  On top of that, no one but yourself is going to be disappointed if you don't meet that time-line.  And most importantly, even if it takes you 10 minutes longer, the world will not end.  I promise.

So what am I saying with all of this?  Well, the main point is that I felt happy and content.  I found time to do the things that I love by adjusting my priorities.  I have always had the time to do them, I just was so stressed and anxious about everything else that I didn't feel like I had time for them.  This journey was all about making time to take care of myself, both my body and my mind, and it had a big effect!  So why is most of this written in past tense?  Well since finishing the CSD, I continued the early morning routine for about a week.  Then we went camping.  Then we came home and I was tired and wanted to sleep in.  Needless to say, I haven't been taking the time to work on my thoughts.  And what da' know, I am feeling stressed and worried about my life and time and getting irritated with people and putting "other peoples negative thoughts in my head".  Well, that's dumb.  What I have to say about all this could take forever.  The main point is that I need to take the time to take care of my mental health as much as I need to watch what I put in my mouth.  I know that eating a bucket of fries and ketchup tastes good, but makes me feel awful an hour later, so I don't do it.  I also know that negative thoughts lead to more and that stress and anxiety lead to more stress and anxiety and more negative thoughts.  I now also know that I can do something about that.  I just make take me several times of the "BIG FAT REMINDER" hammer hitting me on the head when I forget. 

I wanted to follow the CSD not to change my life for three weeks, but for ever.  I want to be happy, positive and creative.  I want to enjoy life for today, and not worry so much about yesterday and tomorrow. 

Tomorrow, I am setting the alarm for 7am and I am meeting my yoga mat for a date.  I want to be happy, and I have the power and the right to make that happen for myself, do I am going to make it happen!

Peace, love and health!

(P.S. I feel better even after writing this....which was kind of the point.  I needed that reminder.....)

CSD - Week 2

I am happy, happy, happy!!  For the first time in a long while, I have been happy, optimistic and pleased with where I am in life for several days in a row without a end-of-the-world crash!  Why you ask?  Well I have to say that I really think I found the motivation and steps to get me to keep going and make a change.  Following a way of eating that is compassionate and about being in tune with my body, cravings and emotions as well as following a plan to turn my negative thoughts to positive ones has really had an effect on how I feel and think!  On top of that, it hasn't been as hard as I thought it might be.  Don't get me wrong it has taken dedication to get up early every morning to do my yoga, affirmations and mediation when my husband is still lying in bed sleeping.  And I have had to make sure I am aware of my thoughts and have had to fight a few nagging negatives away, but it hasn't been a painful journey.  I know that it was probably easier because I was already vegan and have tried several time before to turn my thoughts upside down and be positive all the time, but the way Kris writes has really helped me too.  Her writing is humors and she includes fun words and phrases that make me smile, but she also writes in a way that pushes you to try what she suggests without any judgment; if you fall or falter, just dust yourself off and keep on going because we are all human and NO ONE is perfect :)

Though my intent was to blog everyday and chart my "progress," my daily routine has been pretty much the same (as far as the CSD goes) and what I have learned over the past two weeks can be summed up as well. (Though I do wish there were times I could "download" my thoughts to my blog and expand on them later because I feel that my enlightenment moments happen when I am away from a computer, with no writing instrument or paper and I often just stumble upon them and can't quite remember them later.  This usually happens when I am exercising and it is just me and my thoughts).

• Wake up around 7ish, give or take a few depending on when I get to bed.  I have been trying to get 8 hours of sleep every night!
• Drink my glass of water with a little fresh lemon juice and a sprinkle of cayenne pepper
• 25 minute morning yoga routine
• 5-10 minutes of reading the goals for the day and saying the daily prayer and affirmation.  (Though I am not religious, my prayers are to Mother Nature and as I say them I picture myself in a beautiful forest feeling the effects of my prayer).
• 15 minutes of mediation.  This hasn't really gotten much easier.  My thoughts still wander, but I'm not going to give it up!  I downloaded some guided meditations and have added a candle for me to focus on.  I also would like to make a shrine so that I am not staring at our TV.
• After waking up my sleeping husband, I make my morning green smoothie to which I have added strawberries and a date and removed celery to make it a little sweeter and less green tasting.  I couldn't down the pure green smoothies any more.  Again, if I had a juicer it may be a different story.  I think the texture would make a difference.
• I drink my smoothie as I get our lunches ready.  My lunch includes a big salad with lots of goodies on it and lately has also been a sweet potato and black bean burger with cumin avocado spread, both homemade and both delicious!
• After that, I have found that I need a little more fuel to get through to lunch, especially on the days that I cycle at noon, so I have a small bowl of oatmeal with some dried mango.
• Then it is off to work or whatever else the day has in store.  My aloe water comes along with me too, and I sip on that until noon or so.
• Monday and Wednesdays I cycle at noon, so I have a snack before I go and make sure I bring my homemade energy bars for after.  I tried going to a cycling class last week without eating beforehand, and I was zapped 15 minutes in to the 45 minute class.  It was a struggle to keep my legs going for the whole class, so I don't do that anymore :)
• Other days, I eat my lunch around noon and have a snack around 2 or 3.  When I don't cycle, I usually work out in the afternoon and come home to dinner.
• Dinner has been lots of different things, but the other night I had orange glazed tempeh with quinoa and steamed veggies which was de-licious!  Tonight I made Indian lentil dalh and had it over the rest of the quinoa!
• After dinner snack has been vanilla chia seed pudding and sometimes a single square of dark chocolate.  (I went a whole week without chocolate just to prove I didn't need it!)
• I am trying to be done eating by 7, er 7:30 (sometimes I don't sit down to eat until 7), but I am often hungry before bed and gab a cracker or too to calm the rumbles enough to sleep.
• The nettimeds!!  The only downside is that I think my jaw forgot what to do when it is closed, so I have found that I hold it funny and it starts to hurt.  I am trying to be more conscious of how my jaw is aligned during the day, but I know when I am not paying attention I hold my bottom jaw jetted slightly forward and to the left.  I am hoping it will fix itself in time.
• I am also trying to remember to dry brush before a shower, but I often forget.  Even moving the brush to the counter hasn't helped jogged my memory!  I have done it a few times and it feels really good and I can see the dry skin flaking off.  I hope it helps with my unevenly dry skin and brings out the radiantly beautiful me underneath!
• Bed time come around 10, so that we can be to sleep by 11 to get those 8 hours of beauty sleep in! 

Now what come of all this?  Is it something I feel that I can continue on with, or will it be a 3 week adventure with an end?  How has it helped and what changes have I seen?  Well I want to answer all these questions, and I will, but that clock has crept up on me and it's time to hit the hay!  Tune in tomorrow to hear how my negative Nancy has turned into a positive patty!  And how it has really opened up my mind, my spirit and my heart!

Good night and good health!

CSD - Fasting

When I left off last time, I was excited to try my first fasting day.  That was the weekend before last.  Since then I have completed two fasting days!  My first fasting day started out with a not so tasty green smoothie.  I was at the in-laws with out my vita-mix, but I still had hope, and I put the regular blender up to the test of greens!  After a some changing of speeds and stopping and pushing things down, I had a whirling green concoction.  Knowing that it was better to have juice than a smoothie, I attempted to stain my mix though a sieve, but the holes were too large, and the fiber went right through.  I could tell before drinking it that it was not as smooth as I was used to, but I wasn't going to blow off my first fasting day just because we were away from home!  So I drank it, well I drank 4/5 of it anyway.  When it came down to the last big swig, I couldn't do it anymore.  It was still kind of chunky and fibrous-y, and not very appetizing.  Needless to say, I was feeling quite famished and hungry by the time he headed for home around noon.  So we made a quick stop at the local co-op and I purchased Columbia Gorge's green Vita Seed drink (though Kris says that these are not as good as fresh because they have been sitting on the shelf and flash pasteurized, it had to do) and a small herbal tea.  Neither one tasted that great, but I drank them anyway.  By the time we got home, all I wanted was solid food.  But I held tight and had another green smoothie, which I have to say was hard to choke down.  Having a juicer at this point would have been really nice.  Kris's sample juicing fast day consists of 5-6 juices over the course of the day, one every 2-3 hours.  With the filling nature of the smoothie, there was no way I was going to be able to drink that many.  Plus, I may have been able to change up the flavors enough that it wouldn't have been so monotonous.  Once dinner time hit, I couldn't do it anymore.  Though I was shooting for a whole day, I was hungry and would have rather not eaten than drink another green drink, so I opted for a raw soup and some lightly steamed veggies with some toasted sesame oil and salt to stick with the fasting idea.  The steamed veggies were delicious, but the soup was, well, not.  I am not a big fan of liquid soup and I wasn't crazy about the flavor, but I finished it anyway like a good girl.  Though it wasn't the most fun day, I did learn that I can really control what I eat and I have the power to choose what I put in my body.  I also found that even though I was hungry and wanted something to chew on, I wanted good wholesome food like fruit and veggies or whole grains.  I didn't want sweets and junk, in fact they sounded about as good as another green drink, made in the regular blender!

My second fast day was a little better, but I also cheated at the end. I followed the green smoothie/drink trend until dinner like last time.  I also purchased a large bottle of Bottlehouse Farms Green Goodness to change up the flavors of the day.  Again, I really wished I had a juicer to really try the juice fast, but that will have to wait until we have the budget and counter space to buy one and store one!  For dinner I tried miso soup with kale, carrots, garlic and onion, all minced, thrown in to add some texture, and steamed veggies with toasted sesame oil and salt.  Again the veggies were good (because I like steamed veggies and toasted sesame oil) and the soup was alright.  I don't think I put in enough miso, and it was just too runny for me, but I finished it again like a good girl.  After dinner I took a short walk to get in my "god pod" maintenance (exercise) on which I called some old friends I have been meaning to call for a very long time now and keep putting it off.  Though I wasn't able to chat with anyone, I left messages and felt great afterward! Since, I have had a great conversation with one (my ex-high-school-boyfriend of 6 years who I hadn't talked to in 2 and half years) and scheduled to chat with my former volleyball coach sometime later this week!  When I got back home, I was hungry enough that I knew I wouldn't be able to go to bed, so I had a couple snacks, but I tried to keep them simple and easy to digest.  I had a cup of vanilla chia seed pudding that I had made the day before and a piece of fruit.  Again, the day was not easy, but it was nice to know that I was doing my body good!  And I felt really "cleansed" of the nagging voice in my head telling me "call your friends!"  "get over yourself and call!"

I'm not sure how fasting day # 3 will go, or if I will even do it.  But I know that once I get a juicer I would like to make it part of my routine, weather it is once a week or once a month, I think it does a body good!

On blogging

I have discovered that I do not have the time or desire to blog everyday.  Or maybe that isn't necessarily true.  I would like to blog everyday, and I could make the time for it, but when it comes down to it I haven't been doing it long enough to have worked it into my daily schedule.  I started this blog to help keep me on track and keep me going on my (hopefully final big) weight loss get fit challenge as I explored new ways of eating and exercising.  I figured that if I blogged every night, it would keep me on track.  The truth is I haven't needed the blog to help keep me accountable, so I haven't really stressed it.  Like I said, it's not part of my routine, so often times it gets to the evening time and I a) forget, b) really just want to sit and relax on the couch after cooking and cleaning up dinner, or c) have something else that I want to work on or get done.  I also know that when I sit down to write, it isn't going to be a quick 15 min right before bed type project.  I like to write and I like to explain, so the blog gets longer and times goes by and I have only hit the highlights of the first half of my day, phew!  Though I wish I had blogged everyday, I am not in anyway disappointed that I didn't (or I am trying really hard to convince myself that) or feel that I let my self down (again working on the convincing part, and though I say that, I am actually doing really well (: ) Another point of this blog was to be able to get my thoughts and such written (or typed) down as sort of a journal.  So far, I have been more successful with this than my hand written journal.  Plus I have been a lot more excited for this as well!  I am also excited about the future this blog could have as I start showcasing my yummy cooking, fun crafts or pretty pictures!  I have found that I am getting more in touch, or back in touch rather, with my creative side! (More on that in the next post, hopefully later tonight, but possibly tomorrow!)  I also know that I like to share what I have accomplished with others, and this blog will allow me to do just that!  Even if it is only those closest to me, I still like the idea of sharing!  Any-who-doddles, look for more from me soon on the progress of my Crazy, Sexy Diet!

Peace and health!

CSD - Day 6

I woke up with the sun this morning (well almost), I was up at 7:30 without an alarm.  It was nice to be up earlier on the weekend with nothing that needed to be done!  I could take it easy and go at my own pace.  My "focus" for the day was helpful, but would have been much appreciated a couple days ago!  Kris reminded me that detox may cause emotional symptoms including irritability and depression, especially if you happen to be on your period!  Oh man, that was me a couple days ago!  My affirmation today was also what I needed to help me stay strong: "every step is a victory, every fall a lesson.  Either way I am improving now"which is so true in this journey and in life.

I wasn't able to make to try out the green juice in the blender this morning, but I will try tomorrow because it is my first fasting day!  I got to go to the Newport farmers market today and got some good local produce that I am excited to use this next week in some yummy recipes!  The farmers market trip was followed by a wonderful yoga class that was focusing on clarity, but with playful spin so that we weren't too ridged.  What a wonderful idea for at this point!  I struggle all the time with trying to "do everything right" and not be to uptight about everything at the same time.  The class involved a lot of standing poses which made my legs tired, but was very relaxing at the same time.  I enjoyed it a lot!  I wish I could go to a yoga class everyday!  Like I mentioned yesterday, I enjoy a room full of people doing the same poses with me, especially when we sing or chant like we did today!

We spent the afternoon on the beach at our nephew's pirate birthday party and it was a beautiful day!  It was fun watching the kids run around finding buried treasure and enjoying the sun.  I took the time to walk down to the water and enjoyed a moment by myself.  I let the waves lick my feet as I let my surroundings overtake me.  The sound of the ocean was all I heard, the waves rolling in and out was hypnotic and the sun in the bright blue sky reflecting off the water in sparkles was beautiful.  I could have watched the water for hours.  I took time to appreciate the wonderful day and took the time to realize how lucky I am to be able to do everything that I do and have such a wonderful family.  I though of all the people I think are so happy and tell stories of all the fun things they get to do, and I realized that I am in one of those moments, I just have to chose to see it that way.  I have the choice to see things how I want them. All it is is a mindset.  I can choose to see things in positive light and be happy about what I am doing and choose to remember things how I want to.  I wrote peace, love, and happiness in the sand with accompanying pictures and I thought about good happy thoughts.

The day was great and I am excited about my first fasting day.  I will probably try a raw soup at the end of the day :)

Peace and Love!!!

CSD - Day 5

Don't have much time, but today had been good!

I got up a little earlier so that I would have more time to focus on positive thoughts this morning.  It felt good to focus on being positive and I visualized my day going well and me doing everything "right".

I got to be in my garden for 3 hours today and be in the sun, which was very relaxing and nice!

Then I got a big salad at the co op which was delicious!  I also found some good local fruits and veggies for the weekend and this next week. Yum!

As I go to bed, I feel good and happy.  I did yoga, meditated, had a relaxing day with no agenda and no expectations, I worked on being more positive, ate well, didn't eat very much tonight and am ready for bed!

We are at the coast this weekend visiting the in-laws with a beach, pirate, 6-year old birthday party on the agenda for tomorrow afternoon.  Before that though, I plan on being up early (even though it is the weekend) and then heading to yoga with my mother-in-law!  A real treat!  I love yoga classes and really enjoy being in a room of people doing the same thing as me with a real teacher.  Plus the room is very relaxing and "yoga-like"  I am also planning on having my morning green drink, but we will see how it goes because I am with out my Vita Mix.  Just a standard blender.  We'll see how it handles my romaine leaves and cucumber!

Good night, good health, and positive and happy thoughts!!

CSD - day 4

Day 3 got a little better.  I played volleyball for a bout an hour and half, and I was tired by the end and I ended up eating my dinner when I got home and ate well into the evening :(  I really need to get better at the not eating anything after 7 or 8 in the evening (three hours before bed).  This is the hardest part for me.  I am an emotional evening eater.  I can do well all day and then it hits about 7 or so and I just want to stand in the kitchen and snack.  I feel hungry and emotional hungry at the same time.  I zone out and just eat whatever tastes good, but sometimes nothing really hits the spot.

Now, day 4.  It was interesting.  It was filled with work and birthday celebrations, so I was busy and didn't have time to prepare all my food like I wanted, but I made due.  Then it came to the evening time and I ate. I also had some negative thoughts issues.  I started my period, which I have discovered delivers me at least one day of depression where all my thoughts are filled with why I fall short in all areas of my life.  I gave in for a while, but then I tried to turn it around.  It was hard, and I still had lots of bad thoughts, but I tried and it helped a bit.  I know that this habit will take a while to break because it is something that I have had all my 23 years of life to create it and prefect to a T.  I am so good at "knowing all the bad thinks that others are thinking about me": I'm fat, I'm stupid, I'm dumb, I look awful, I'm too quite, I don't work hard enough.....etc......All the things that I think I need to improve on in my life, I project into all these other peoples thoughts too and then it just reinforces my own thoughts....and the cycle continues.  When I'm in the middle of the downward spiral I really want to change it because I feel like a low life, but it sounds like so much work.  Then when I feel better, well I feel better and don't feel like there is anything to change.  Sigh, I have to pick up big girl pants and take steps to fix it.  It runs my life more that I think I would like to admit.  I thought about going to a councilor now for about five years, but I can never bring myself to do it because I know that it will be a lot of work, and really painful--lots of tears and heartache.  But, I know I'm going to need help to do it, and it will have to come eventually.

I went to bed less than satisfied, but I also reminded myself that I can start fresh in the morning and do better tomorrow.  Kris reminds people in the book to not just give up when something goes wrong, just get back up and try again.  I am such a perfectionist that this concept is sometimes hard for me to follow because I want to do it all right all the time, the first time.  Then I equated it trying to run 3 miles outright after not running for a period of time.  You can't just go out and do it.  You have to work up to it and keep trying.  I think I am doing pretty good for trying to make several changes at once and am feeling pretty good how I feel making those changes.

CSD - Day 3

Well after an interesting and hot night, I was up and at'em at 7:15 with my water, yoga and meditation.  All I wanted to do was curl up and go back to sleep, but I forged on.  Mediation was difficult this morning.  My mind was not having it.  I could focus on my breath for a few inhales and exhales, but then the planning would creep in....volleyball drills, what I'm having for dinner tonight, etc.  At one point I reminded myself that Kris mentioned that even though your mind may not cooperate, it's still important that you show up.  So I fought, I mean gently tired to reign my mind back in, for 15 minutes.  I am feeling very tired and foggy today.  I feel like I need to eat more because I am so tired, but nothing really sounds that great.  It was hard today to drink my green juice for breakfast.  It was rather large and tasted like celery and green.  Not that it was bad, just not really what I was wanting this morning.  I drank away at it as I got ready and finished almost all of it.  I had to pack a bigger cooler and a second water bottle today to fit all my goodies in.  The second water bottle was for my aloe water and the cooler was filled with snacks and lunch.  I was planning on going on a run after I finished up at work, but I don't know that I will have the energy to put one foot in front of the other.  I don't necessarily feel tied, but like my body needs to rest.  My head feels like it is swimming in a cloud.  Toady is hump day, I hope tomorrow is a little easier.  I also feel like my thoughts here are very fragmented, but it is hard to put into words how I feel.  It is kind of strange and almost alien.  I think I will head home and take a nap before heading to Albany to coach some VB.  They have conditioning today so I think that will be my workout for today.  I will give cycling a try again tomorrow.  If I have time tonight to give an update on how I am feeling, I will check back in.

One last note before I head out, I was looking around the CrazySexyLife website and found a smoothie recipe that sounds good: avocado, mint, cucumber, a bit of kale, and a sprinkle of stevia.  Sounds creamy and refreshing.  I think I will try that as my afternoon pick me up before I head to Albany.

Peace, love and health!

Crazy Sexy Diet - Day 2

Day 2 was a bit harder than day 1.  Day one I was at home cooking all day.  I got in all my meals, snacks, water and the like.  I even completed my hour long track repeat workout and felt strong.  Day 2 I felt a little drained and it was harder to live off just my smoothie until noon.  It could be from the detox, or it could have been that I ran between 8:30 and 9:30 at night, burned 700 calories, and then ate only a snack and went to bed, or possibly a little of both :)  Nonetheless, I woke up early,drank my lemon and cayenne water and did my yoga and mediation.  Yoga always feels good in the morning, and I felt like my mediation was pretty good too.  Only a few wandering thoughts here and there, but my body is still ready to be done after 15 minutes (or actually more like 10) as my back starts to cramp and my knees start to ache.  Then it was off to my garden on my bike where I water in the sun for about a half hour.  I brought along a homemade energy bar which I hungrly ate before heading over to my 45 minute cycling class.  I thought that I would need more, but I wanted to stick with the "green juice only until noon" recommendation.  The cycling teacher made up a workout that was too hard, but I also hit a wall about 20 minutes in and struggled to even try to keep up for the rest of the time, but I pushed through and finished!  The bike ride home was a slow and tired one, but my body was happy to get food once I got in the door.  I then decided I cannot do a noon work out running only on a green smoothie. I was pretty tired the rest of the day, but able to do what I need to.  However, I think I was starting to feel the effects of the detox: a little nauseated, weak muscles, foggy brain, and a headache.  I slept hard and was quite out of it when I woke up in the middle of the night.  My husband said he woke up to me being wide awake and staring, which I don't remember. He kept asking me if I was alright, and I remember thinking "why does he keep asking me that?  Am I acting weird?"  I don't remember what I was doing, but he said it was weird.  Detox? Exhaustion? not sure?

Crazy Sexy Diet - Day 1

So I finally got my books last week and I started up the Crazy Sexy Diet today!  I have to get to bed soon so I can make sure that I get my 8 hours of beauty rest, but here is a quick run down of my day....

I had a glass of water with lemon juice and a dash of cayenne to start my day.  I then followed that up with a 20 minute yoga session and 15 minute meditation session complete with prayer, affirmations and blessings.  Following that was a cup of green jasmine tea and I sipped on a liter of water with 2 oz of aloe vera juice until noonish.  I had my first green juice/smoothie (I don't have a juicer, just a vita mix) this morning and it wasn't bad!

Lunch was tofu "egg" salad on GF bread (salad was good, bread was interesting) and veggies.  My snack was an orange karma juice from Jamba Juice and some GF edimame crackers.

Dinner was steamed veggies with quinoa and a thi "peanut" sauce, which was delicious!

I even got a good run workout in following the "run less, run faster" plan and felt good.

I did a lot a food prep today and feel good about being prepared for a busy week!

The netti pot is going well and is really helping me breath better, especially during my workouts!

I was continuous of my thoughts today reminding myself to be positive and take time to live in the moment.

More on my experiences tomorrow!

Good night and good health!

Alright, lets do this!

Okay, so maybe updating my blog every day is not possible...I'm a little too busy to get that in with everything else.  That said there is some things I wanted to finish up about last week.....

Last Saturday I started off playing some sand VB with a guy that played a city league game with my team in the winter.  Because of the less than ideal weather (it wasn't raining, but cloudy and threatening to), we were the only two at the courts.  We peppered for a while, then took turns hitting.  We just chatted about life and got to know each other a bit and it was nice to make another connection and to get some sand practice in before taking on a game!  I think I may have even had a breakthrough on my hitting!  I figured out how to push off the sand and actually jump up, rather than out.  His wife and two kids were there for a while and they were really nice.  I think I would like to get to know them :)  Then I headed to the farmers market to get some starts from my garden!!!!  Latter that day, we headed over to my mom's so she could help me plan out where to plant everything.  Then we finished getting the other plants and seeds I needed and headed out to plant.  We were out until dark but it was really fun and I am so excited to grow my own produce!  It is going to taste sooooo good!

Sunday, we went to see "Forks Over Knives" with my mom which was interesting.  I already knew most of the information, but it was still fun to watch.  I think every person should watch that movie!  It is also nice to have reminders about why I choose to live the way I do when sometimes I feel like it would just be easier to go along with the norm.  Then my mom and I headed back to my garden to put up some shade bags for my plants so they didn't get sunburned.  Below are some pics before the bags were put up. (My garden looks the best by the way!)

Corn, cantaloupe, watermelon, lettuce, carrots, beans, basil, peppers, tomatoes, kale, rainbow chard, eggplant, pumpkin, cucumber, butternut squash, broccoli, cauliflower, ground cherry (a new thing I have never tried) and some pretty flowers!

 

Me and my mama!

Then, this week my biggest accomplishment is that I worked out hard and ate really well and I am feeling great!  I went to two cycling classes that kicked my but and went on a long ride today that felt easy even though my legs felt tired!  I have also gotten two good run workouts in and plan on doing a long, slow run this weekend.  Again, though my legs felt tired, I felt like I was running strong! I am really starting to enjoy my workouts becasue they don't feel like they take as much work to work hard....if that even makes any sense.  I also got in four days of strength training after my cardio and they are kicking my butt too!  I can't wait until all this starts feeling easier so I can remember where I came from :)  I also got in a few morning yoga sessions which really helped with my sore, stiff muscles.  My eating has been good.  Lots of veggies, less snacks and not a lot of late night munching!  I have even dropped a few pounds this week and I want to keep it going :)

I have continued with the Netti Pot and am starting to get the hang of it.  Not only that, but it is really helping!  I can breath fully through my nose which is really helping me at night, but when I really notice it is when I am working out and I can breath fully through my nose.  I don't feel like I breath as hard and I can push myself harder.

Speaking of the Netti Pot, that brings me to my books!  They were supposed to be here on Tuesday, and they were, I just couldn't get them.  They were supposed to be dropped off a the office, but the office was closed, so then they got lost for a couple days, and now I think they are really in the office, but I can't them until Monday when someone is in the office...BUT I'm still excited.  I just wish I had them to read over this weekend.  I am really excited to start my Crazy, Sexy Diet and read about running and cycling and for summer and my garden and volleyball, and, and, and :)  I am having a good summer so far and it's only been two weeks!  Yay!

Good night and good health!

Week re-cap

So, I have been busy and it's been late by the time I have time to write, so I haven't had time to catch up, and well tonight isn't that much different, but I want to at least write a little bit.

First off, I have used my Netti Pot a few times, and I think it is helping.  My face doesn't hurt as bad a night and I feel like I can breath better when I sleep.  Now it's not the prettiest process, and you have to have your head in the correct position so that the salt solution doesn't run out your mouth.  I have also found that my sinuses drain differently.  When my left nostril is down, and the water is running out that side, it runs in a stream.  When my right nostril is down, it barely drips, then starts to drip more, then finally starts into a thin stream.  I'm not sure why the difference or if it is bad, but it is interesting.

Lets see...now the week in a nut shell....
Wednesday, First I helped a friend move, which made me very aware of my soar muscles from the workout the day before.  Then, I worked and had a project to work on.  Sorting through old files.  Though it sounds kind of dull, it was nice having something to do, and it is organizing so I don't mind it :)  However, I got sidetracked working on a brochure for volleyball private lessons becasue I am so excited to start them up!  I still haven't finished, but I want to get it done this week.  Right after work it was off to the volleyball academy for four hours.  I had fun as always, and got to play some a the end too!  Oh, and I found out my community garden plot was ready!

Thursday was a bit frustrating.  I got up early to meet people at the garden I am volunteering at, and no one showed!  On top of that, the people in charge weren't even there so I didn't know what to do!  And because I rode my bike, I didn't want to turn around and go home, so I hand watered for two hours and only covered about 1/3 of the garden.  Then a guy in charge showed up and told me that I didn't have to hand water becasue they have soak er hoses...ugghhh!  When I got home I was in no mood to work out, but I made myself go on a run anyway.  It was a long slow process and I had "just keep swimming, swimming, swimming" from Finding Nemo stuck in my head which eventually turned into "just keep going, going, going....you're almost done, done done!"  For lunch I met my husband, mother-in-law, niece and nephew in the park.  It was fun, but I was still in a bad mood.  Then it was off to my mom's to help my sister work on her invitations for her wedding.  But it turned out that she didn't have all the stuff we needed, so I made 6 invitations and that was it. *Sigh*  I stopped at the store on the way home to get stuff to make pesto and had a veggie pesto pasta with gluten free rice pasta that was really yummy!  Feeling better with some good food in my tummy, I headed off to little kid volleyball camp which also helped cheer me up, so I came home in a good mood :)

Friday I had some room to breath.  I used it to do some fun things for me!  I made mini cupcakes for Dave at DSK for his birthday and decorated them with frosting and they were super cute and tasty (see pics below)!  And I got to eat my lunch in the sunshine :)  Volleyball academy was a little slow.  Not many girls, hot day and first day off from school.  However, Dave let me run B academy by myself!  So cool.  Unfortunately because of the lack of girls and hot weather, I came home with a lot of cupcakes.  I gave some away, but some are still sitting in the kitchen.  My sister even liked them, and I am having visions of bridal shower cupcakes dancing through my head!

                                                             Before frosting them

                                                                      and after :)

That's all for tonight, time for some beauty rest!  More on the weekend tomorrow!

Good night and good health!

Crazy Sexy

I started my morning off with a large glass of water with some lemon juice and a pinch of cayenne powder as suggested by Kris in "Crazy, Sexy Diet."  Though I haven't gotten my book yet, I am trying to incorporate some of the diet elements into my day so when I start the 21 day journey, it isn't as much of a shock!  I was surprised at how little I could taste the cayenne, it wasn't until the last little bit that I could feel some heat in the back of my throat.  That was followed up with my morning yoga routine that I do from time to time.  It felt good to stretch out my slightly stiff running muscles from my back-at-it run yesterday, and the general stiffness that comes with waking.  For breakfast I had a smoothie made with fruit, a splash of unsweetened almond milk and Vega health optimizer powder (a blend of protein, super foods and greens).  Again with the idea of helping me transition to the Crazy Sexy Diet which starts the day off with a green juice/smoothie.

Then it was off to work.  Though I don't usually have much to do, and especially now that it is summer and campus is deserted, I had a project to work on today that helped break up the 5 hour shift.  Lunch was leftovers from last night and a new "yogurt" that I found!  It is cultured almond milk and it tastes SOOO good!  Much better, in my opinion than the soy or coconut varieties. 

After work it was off to the gym.  I hoped on the cycling bike for about 20 minutes, 5 warm-up,  15 intervals (1 min fast, 1 min rest, 1 min hard, 1 min rest, repeat), 5 cool down.  It has been about 2 weeks since I have been on a bike and my legs felt good an refreshed!  Then it was on to the strength training workout that I got out of a road racing running book.  Though it looked fairly easy, I soon found out that my upper body is quite weak and the work out was challenging, but in a good way!  I felt good after finishing!

Then it was off to the Co-Op for owner appreciation day!  Where owners save a percentage off their purchase!  I got some of the necessary things to begin following the Crazy, Sexy Diet.  Though I didn't find everything I needed, I got most of it.  More on what I got in later posts, but one thing that I did get that I have been wanting for a while, is a Neti Pot.  It is a small tea pot like thing that you fill with warm water and a salt solution and is used to help clean out your nasal passages.  I have had allergy problems my whole life.  On and off medication, it works for a while, then it doesn't, my allergies get worse, then go away....yahda yahda.  Anyhow, my sinus have been bothering me lately and I am really hoping this will do the trick!  I am going to give it a try tonight and I'll let you know how it goes tomorrow!

Good night and good health!

New Friends and New Experiences

Alright, here is a (semi) quick run down of my day:

I was up early (well early for my first day of summer break!) at 7 to get ready to help out at a garden on campus.  Breakfast was oatmeal with a banana and a spoonful of peanut butter, my go to breakfast!  Then off to the gardens!  I am volunteering though our Student Dietetics Association (SDA) to help keep up the gardens for the summer.  Along with the director and four other girls from SDA, we weeded and harvested some of the vegetables, which we get to take home in exchange for our work!  Though it was sprinkling when we first started, it turned into a perfect morning to garden, not to hot, not too cold.  I knew one gal from our vegetarian and vegan group, and another was a TA of mine this last term, but the other two were new acquaintances and will hopefully blossom in to some new dietetics friends!  We chatted about organic gardening, soil and I learned some new interesting things!  Did you know that rocks are not stable in their crystallized form we see them in?  And that they dissolve in water!? Crazy!

When I got home, I had this crazy idea to start a blog!  But I had lunch first with what I could gather up in the fridge, a veggie wrap and some delicious cantaloupe!  I worked on the blog for a few hours and felt very accomplished when I posted my first post!

Then I shopped around on Amazon and bought a few books, which will be coming up I'm sure in later posts :~) 
The books I ordered are:

To help me on my way to running better and longer:
Runner's World Run Less, Run Faster: Become a Faster, Stronger Runner with the Revolutionary FIRST Training Program
Bill Pierce

After borrowing this from the library and reading it cover to cover, I wanted to try this out! (Which I plan to blog about!)
Crazy Sexy Diet: Eat Your Veggies, Ignite Your Spark, and Live Like You Mean It!
Kris Carr

And to help me on my way to being an awesome cyclist:
Base Building for Cyclists: A New Foundation for Endurance and Performance
Thomas Chapple
And 
The Cyclist's Training Bible
Joe Friel

All of which I am excited to get, read and share!

After sitting for a while it was time to get up and do something!  I headed outside for a short, get-back-into-running-after-my-break run.  I did a triathlon two weeks ago and haven't done much exercise since to give my body a break.  So I headed out for a short easy 2.5 mile jog.  It felt good, but I was a little tired when I got back.  I followed that up with some core work and some push-ups to help get me strong!  After showering I made some recovery pudding following re recipe in Brandon Brazier Thrive Diet that I copied down awhile ago.

After taking a short cat nap, I made dinner with some of the produce I got from the garden today, mustard greens and purple kale.  I steamed them with some cauliflower added rice and garbanzo beans and some homemade "Cafe Yumm" type sauce (man I love that sutff!)  I was pretty good for just throwing it together!

My day started with a new volunteer experience and it was only fitting that it end with one!  I headed down to the public library to read to nutrition related books to children for the bedtime story time.  We read a few books, did a quick activity, read some more and had a smoothie for a snack.  Tonight was about calcium and the books I read were about milkshakes and milkshake cows.  Again I met some new people in dietetics and hope that they may blossom into friendships!

Phew!  For someone who doesn't blog or keep journals, that was a lot!  But I am enjoying this so far and think I will keep it up!  I am excited for the new opportunities and experiences to come this summer and to document it all here!  I need to start adding pictures!

Good night and good health!

First Post!

Hello and welcome to my blog!  This is my first ever blog post!  So why am I do a blog?  Well, I think there are several answers to that.

Mostly it is for personal reasons.  I have always wanted to keep a personal journal in hopes that it would help clear my thoughts, make me feel better, reduce stress, give me some me time, etc, etc.  However, whenever I start one, it last for a few days and that is about it.  This seems way more fun becasue I can add pictures and I can type a lot faster than I can write, and it is a lot easier to read :)  I also feel that I will keep it up becasue there may be someone out there that might actually be reading it and enjoying reading it.  Though, if no one ever reads this, that is fine too becasue it is for me (I know, kind of selfish, but I'm just being truthful!)

Second, I am on a weight loss journey to finally loose the dreaded freshman 15 that I gained and still have yet to loose after five years.  I am also training to ride a 35 mile bike fundraiser ride in August and run my first half marathon in September, oh and getting in to weightlifting/strength training to be in the best shape of my life!  I am going to use this, again, to keep me accountable with that same idea that someone may be reading it and getting use out of it.  Plus it will all be in one spot for me to look at as well!

Third, I love to cook and bake and share recipes, and I will probably be doing some of that as well!

Fourth, I have the time.  This is the first summer that I have actually had the time off to do some more things that I enjoy.  I am currently going back to school for dietetics.  Previously I was attending college and playing on the volleyball team, so not only was my summer filled with work and working out specifically for volleyball, but it was also cut two months short becasue training started.  And last summer I was planning for my July wedding, then honeymooning, then studying for the GRE's.  Now I have a full length summer!  I am working about 10 hours a week on campus, working some evenings at a volleyball academy and then the rest is my time!  It will probably be spent growing my garden, volunteering at various places, working out, learning to play the guitar I have had for three plus years now, making new recipes and of course blogging!  Really the reason is I just needed one more thing to do!  I am the master at crating an endless list of projects for me to do and never sitting still.  Well this will give me an excuses to sit and meditate and reflect in a way.

This brings me to my final reason.  I am not only on a weight loss journey, but also a life changing journey.  I have wanted to make my life a more positive and happy one and keep saying "I need to do it" or "I want to do it" Now I am going to do it!  I am a perfectionist and naturally have negative self talk which I have been working on slowly changing.  I tend to envy others lives and fail to see the positives in mine.  I am always striving to be the best at everything and only feel rewarded when someone acknowledges my hard work to my face.  In a sense, I am really good at beating my ego to death then working hard to try and get someone else to pump a whisper of air back into it.  BUT, I also don't have many friends becasue I feel so uncomfortable in social situations that I avoid them.  I am really good at convincing myself that no one wants to be my friend and that I am annoying and not worth much to them, even though I know that is not true.  So this is my attempt to try to share with others, feel more trusting, possibly help someone who is having the same issues as me, or just know that there are others out there that feel the same as me sometimes.  I am tired of living in the negative past and want to move on to the positive future!

To myself mostly, but to anyone else who may happen to read this, here is to a better life and a more positive future led by the sharing of thoughts, feelings, ideas and accountability!