First Post!

Hello and welcome to my blog!  This is my first ever blog post!  So why am I do a blog?  Well, I think there are several answers to that.

Mostly it is for personal reasons.  I have always wanted to keep a personal journal in hopes that it would help clear my thoughts, make me feel better, reduce stress, give me some me time, etc, etc.  However, whenever I start one, it last for a few days and that is about it.  This seems way more fun becasue I can add pictures and I can type a lot faster than I can write, and it is a lot easier to read :)  I also feel that I will keep it up becasue there may be someone out there that might actually be reading it and enjoying reading it.  Though, if no one ever reads this, that is fine too becasue it is for me (I know, kind of selfish, but I'm just being truthful!)

Second, I am on a weight loss journey to finally loose the dreaded freshman 15 that I gained and still have yet to loose after five years.  I am also training to ride a 35 mile bike fundraiser ride in August and run my first half marathon in September, oh and getting in to weightlifting/strength training to be in the best shape of my life!  I am going to use this, again, to keep me accountable with that same idea that someone may be reading it and getting use out of it.  Plus it will all be in one spot for me to look at as well!

Third, I love to cook and bake and share recipes, and I will probably be doing some of that as well!

Fourth, I have the time.  This is the first summer that I have actually had the time off to do some more things that I enjoy.  I am currently going back to school for dietetics.  Previously I was attending college and playing on the volleyball team, so not only was my summer filled with work and working out specifically for volleyball, but it was also cut two months short becasue training started.  And last summer I was planning for my July wedding, then honeymooning, then studying for the GRE's.  Now I have a full length summer!  I am working about 10 hours a week on campus, working some evenings at a volleyball academy and then the rest is my time!  It will probably be spent growing my garden, volunteering at various places, working out, learning to play the guitar I have had for three plus years now, making new recipes and of course blogging!  Really the reason is I just needed one more thing to do!  I am the master at crating an endless list of projects for me to do and never sitting still.  Well this will give me an excuses to sit and meditate and reflect in a way.

This brings me to my final reason.  I am not only on a weight loss journey, but also a life changing journey.  I have wanted to make my life a more positive and happy one and keep saying "I need to do it" or "I want to do it" Now I am going to do it!  I am a perfectionist and naturally have negative self talk which I have been working on slowly changing.  I tend to envy others lives and fail to see the positives in mine.  I am always striving to be the best at everything and only feel rewarded when someone acknowledges my hard work to my face.  In a sense, I am really good at beating my ego to death then working hard to try and get someone else to pump a whisper of air back into it.  BUT, I also don't have many friends becasue I feel so uncomfortable in social situations that I avoid them.  I am really good at convincing myself that no one wants to be my friend and that I am annoying and not worth much to them, even though I know that is not true.  So this is my attempt to try to share with others, feel more trusting, possibly help someone who is having the same issues as me, or just know that there are others out there that feel the same as me sometimes.  I am tired of living in the negative past and want to move on to the positive future!

To myself mostly, but to anyone else who may happen to read this, here is to a better life and a more positive future led by the sharing of thoughts, feelings, ideas and accountability!