What I've Learned (from the CSD)......finally!

Alright, so like I said, I'm not quite very good at this whole blogging thing yet.  I could come up with lots of excuses: busy, ran out of time, tired, will take to long, not in the mood, etc....but really what it comes down to is life just going on.  There are always things to do, I just have to decide if this is one of them.  I know I want it to be, but I also have all these other things that I want to do as well!

Three weeks of eating lots of veggies, taking time to meditate and do yoga daily, taking care of my body and thinking positive.  What all came out of it?  Well, I felt really good. Even though I was getting up earlier than I wanted, I wasn't exhausted by the end of the day, in fact I wasn't even that tired by the time bed time came around.  But once it was time to sleep, I was out like a light! Overall, my mood and outlook on life improved.  I didn't feel as stressed or anxious about my day or life.  I was enjoying each day and appreciating the little things.  I didn't really have a desire for material things or as many of my comfort foods.  In general, I was starting to feel comfortable in my body and in my life. 

I also noticed that my creative brain really started to become active again.  I used to love to do arts and crafts, even if I wasn't the best at them.  I used to come up with sewing projects, baking and cooking ideas, and just general ideas!  I felt that come back.  I wanted to get out my sewing machine. bake cupcakes and decorate them, play the guitar, scrapbook, you name it crafty-creative type thing sounded fun.  They no longer were things that I enjoyed-doing-once-don't-have-time-for-them, maybe-some-other-time-in-my-life ideas and thoughts.  They were, why don't I work on it now because I do have the time and they make me happy!  I even acted on these thoughts!  I went over to my Mom's house to work on a quilt that my grandma was supposed to make for me for graduation from high school (five years ago).  She has since passed away.  All the fabric is cut out, it is just a matter of laying the pattern out and sewing it together.  Easy enough, but I just never had the time to do it.  I also had the desire to start blogging about and posting more food related topics, like what I made for dinner!  I love making food and making food look good!  And I would love to share it with everyone!  (Not that anyone reads my blog yet, but that shall change in the future, if I keep it up and running that is (: )

My view on time also changed.  I have always been one to wear a watch or know what time it is.  I look at the clock constantly and am very aware of how long it takes me to do things.  I often have a schedule in my head of things that need to get done, be it today, tomorrow, or the rest of my life (yes I know, who knows the schedule for their whole life!?)  with accompanying time allotments.  If the scheduled task doesn't get done in that amount of time, it equals stress and anxiety.  I always felt like I was rushing from one thing to the next.  Always looking for the fastest and quickest way to do things, and often getting frustrated with anyone who was taking longer than I wanted them to.  (Never to their face, but in my head, which just made me even more anxious and stressed!).  Taking the time to slow down and really trying to appreciate the here and now helped me to calm down and do less mind-scheduling.  I looked at the clock less, didn't feel as anxious, didn't get frustrated with people and had more a laid-back, it-will-get-done attitude.  As a result, I felt like I had more time and got more things done!  What a crazy revelation!  Here I was this whole time try to schedule everything out to the minute to try and maximize time to get as much done, and then always ending up disappointed, when all I had to do was NOT schedule.  What I realized was: there will always be things that need to get done.  Once you finish something, there will always be something more.  You can always come up with things that suck away your time or things that didn't' get accomplished, but that just leaves you with an empty feeling of dissapointment.  Rather, shift your thoughts to all the things you get to do today, with no pressure as to when they need to be done (unless they have some outside influencing time-line).  Don't make due dates and deadlines for everything in your life!  The groceries do not need to be gotten and put away in 30 minutes and be done by 4:15!  That is just your over-scheduling-crazy-perfectionist-brain telling you that.  On top of that, no one but yourself is going to be disappointed if you don't meet that time-line.  And most importantly, even if it takes you 10 minutes longer, the world will not end.  I promise.

So what am I saying with all of this?  Well, the main point is that I felt happy and content.  I found time to do the things that I love by adjusting my priorities.  I have always had the time to do them, I just was so stressed and anxious about everything else that I didn't feel like I had time for them.  This journey was all about making time to take care of myself, both my body and my mind, and it had a big effect!  So why is most of this written in past tense?  Well since finishing the CSD, I continued the early morning routine for about a week.  Then we went camping.  Then we came home and I was tired and wanted to sleep in.  Needless to say, I haven't been taking the time to work on my thoughts.  And what da' know, I am feeling stressed and worried about my life and time and getting irritated with people and putting "other peoples negative thoughts in my head".  Well, that's dumb.  What I have to say about all this could take forever.  The main point is that I need to take the time to take care of my mental health as much as I need to watch what I put in my mouth.  I know that eating a bucket of fries and ketchup tastes good, but makes me feel awful an hour later, so I don't do it.  I also know that negative thoughts lead to more and that stress and anxiety lead to more stress and anxiety and more negative thoughts.  I now also know that I can do something about that.  I just make take me several times of the "BIG FAT REMINDER" hammer hitting me on the head when I forget. 

I wanted to follow the CSD not to change my life for three weeks, but for ever.  I want to be happy, positive and creative.  I want to enjoy life for today, and not worry so much about yesterday and tomorrow. 

Tomorrow, I am setting the alarm for 7am and I am meeting my yoga mat for a date.  I want to be happy, and I have the power and the right to make that happen for myself, do I am going to make it happen!

Peace, love and health!

(P.S. I feel better even after writing this....which was kind of the point.  I needed that reminder.....)

CSD - Day 6

I woke up with the sun this morning (well almost), I was up at 7:30 without an alarm.  It was nice to be up earlier on the weekend with nothing that needed to be done!  I could take it easy and go at my own pace.  My "focus" for the day was helpful, but would have been much appreciated a couple days ago!  Kris reminded me that detox may cause emotional symptoms including irritability and depression, especially if you happen to be on your period!  Oh man, that was me a couple days ago!  My affirmation today was also what I needed to help me stay strong: "every step is a victory, every fall a lesson.  Either way I am improving now"which is so true in this journey and in life.

I wasn't able to make to try out the green juice in the blender this morning, but I will try tomorrow because it is my first fasting day!  I got to go to the Newport farmers market today and got some good local produce that I am excited to use this next week in some yummy recipes!  The farmers market trip was followed by a wonderful yoga class that was focusing on clarity, but with playful spin so that we weren't too ridged.  What a wonderful idea for at this point!  I struggle all the time with trying to "do everything right" and not be to uptight about everything at the same time.  The class involved a lot of standing poses which made my legs tired, but was very relaxing at the same time.  I enjoyed it a lot!  I wish I could go to a yoga class everyday!  Like I mentioned yesterday, I enjoy a room full of people doing the same poses with me, especially when we sing or chant like we did today!

We spent the afternoon on the beach at our nephew's pirate birthday party and it was a beautiful day!  It was fun watching the kids run around finding buried treasure and enjoying the sun.  I took the time to walk down to the water and enjoyed a moment by myself.  I let the waves lick my feet as I let my surroundings overtake me.  The sound of the ocean was all I heard, the waves rolling in and out was hypnotic and the sun in the bright blue sky reflecting off the water in sparkles was beautiful.  I could have watched the water for hours.  I took time to appreciate the wonderful day and took the time to realize how lucky I am to be able to do everything that I do and have such a wonderful family.  I though of all the people I think are so happy and tell stories of all the fun things they get to do, and I realized that I am in one of those moments, I just have to chose to see it that way.  I have the choice to see things how I want them. All it is is a mindset.  I can choose to see things in positive light and be happy about what I am doing and choose to remember things how I want to.  I wrote peace, love, and happiness in the sand with accompanying pictures and I thought about good happy thoughts.

The day was great and I am excited about my first fasting day.  I will probably try a raw soup at the end of the day :)

Peace and Love!!!